You know you read a lot of erotica when...

Being heavily involved in writing erotic romance, I naturally read a lot of erotic romance. Periodically, I do shuffle through my TBR pile and pick out something, well, not so erotic. I do have a wide range of reading tastes, and it's good for the brain to relax into something different every once in awhile. 

I am grinning now because it never fails, the first few books I read that are not erotic, have me laughing out loud. Not with the writing or the author or anything negative toward the book. No, I laugh because in my head, scenes or story lines don't quite follow what my still-in-naughty-mode-frame-of-mind had imagined. Is this just me or has it happened to you, too?

These reading situations inspired me with the following list. It is not complete in any way, and if you fall into this same category, please feel free to add your own insights (or humorous frustrations)...

In no particular order, please enjoy this list of "You know you read a lot of erotica when (you pick up a non-erotic story and)..."

1. ...you're disappointed because the hero threatens the heroine that she needs a good spanking, but nothing ever happens because it's a bluff.

2.  ...initial kisses rarely lead to sex until much, much later in the book (if at all).

3. ...you're surprised when the heroine really likes two (or so) male characters, who reciprocate the [lust], but nobody ever tries to have a free-for-all.

4. ...you want to throw down the book because the hero has the heroine in a wonderful, willing position, but backs off with an excuse that has no bearing on their relationship or the story.

5. ...you're flabbergasted because the hero gives the heroine an order or demand and she laughs or ignores him - and gets away with it!

6. ...you're thrown from the flow of the story because the male character, in his POV, refers to his cock as as his "member," or "sexual organ"  or some other trite term that no self-respecting male would ever use.

7. ...the tight male bonding or camaraderie never even hints that some guy might have wicked thoughts about another guy.

8. ...the heroine actually passes up an offer for a potential sexual indulgence she's always wanted.

9. ...

So, have you any more to add...?