Sunday, November 21, 2010

Positive or Negative?

Can you guess what is in this picture? I'm sure most of you can. It's a pregnancy test strip.

When was the last time you saw one of these? When was the last time you had to use one, and were you panicked or thrilled knowing you were testing yourself?

This past weekend I had my own reacquaintance with the ol' test strip. I've felt under the weather this past week, nothing serious, kilter. I really worried when we went to a small festival in town that featured a few little kid rides. I took my youngest on one that simply turned in a big circle. No big deal, right?  

Well, I usually have an iron stomach when it comes to rides, but yesterday, whew, I didn't think I'd make it. I stared at the lettering on my son's shirt and prayed hard for the ride to be over. I never did get sick, but it felt too damn close for my liking.

Naturally, I thought I was pregnant. So did my husband. Now you should know, he doesn't want us to have any more children (but he did admit, if I am, then we'll love this one, too). I'm content as we are, but wouldn't be adverse to another. So on our way home from the festival yesterday, I bought a test kit. This is the first one I've had in a few years and let me tell you, the things that went through my head were phenomenal! I was happy with the thought of being pregnant, yet so much boggled my mind. Again, if you've ever had to use one of these tests, you know what I'm talking about.

This was me last night: I'm already making plans and lists of things we need, how we would get them, looking on the calendar to see how far along I probably am, when I'd need to see my doctor, what kind of lifestyle changes we'd have to make with another little one to come. When would he or she come, a name for the little he or she...a major stressor!

All my worry last night and lists I'd made were put to the test this morning. I went to the bathroom, used the test strip, and the result...a resounding negative. I was left with a nothing-to-do Sunday as all my plans (planning for baby number four) fizzled out in less than three minutes.

Am I happy? or Whew? I'm kinda both. The more I think about it though, "whew," fits the bill. I have enough stress in my life as it is. haha

So you tell me, what would run through your head if you found yourself needing to use a pregnancy test kit? Now take it one step farther; wouldn't it be great to put something like this into a story? Potential for so much emotion... 

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