Hmm...What an interesting title for this post. I simply typed what came to mind as I sat down to address this week's blog challenge: 'How my family survives my writing,' and the above is what tripped off my fingers. Verses. One against the other. But, it's true.
First, I need to identify my family. It consists of three parts: Immediate (spouse and kids), my side (parents, siblings and their families), and my husband's side (parents, siblings and their families).
I'll go ahead and state that no one on my husband's side knows of my published status. They may know that I like to write, but that's as far as it goes. The reason for this is what I write. Erotic Romance. While a couple individuals may give me nods and a high five if they knew, most wouldn't.
My side of the family knows I write and knows what I write. A couple have even read some of my books because hey, I wrote them. At first I received the congratulations, but now it's old hat. No one on my side is a huge fan of erotic romance, so it's a subject that's simply understood, but never discussed.
My immediate family is about the same way as "my side." The kids all know I write, and as they're boys and hitting teen-age years, I simply tell them I write romance and love stories. It keeps them away. They know my pen name and I've threatened them to keep it mum. As for my husband, he's a silent supporter, even though he wishes I'd write in a different genre because he doesn't read erotic romance either. He's never even read one of my books! lol I don't know if it's because he can't handle the heat or can't handle that his wife is writing the heat or what the issue is--he refuses to confess his reasons.
Aside from who knows and who doesn't, when I actually write, my family can be understanding. They know if I'm writing I need total silence and absolutely no distractions. My kids will keep themselves quieter at bedtime and DH will hie off to the den for his TV fix. When I can swing several hours with no obligations (not as often as I'd like), I "disappear" somewhere away from everyone to write. It may be into the cottage on the property (even though it's so not set up to be writer-friendly), it may be to the library or coffee shop. But they know it's mom's writing time and no phone calls, no distractions.
The crunch time--and where the family vs. writing comes into play--occurs when I'm meeting a deadline and when I have a new release. Then it's harder to get understanding because my writing time will interfere with the wacky order of the day. It's no longer a night-time or get-away-time thing for me, it's an I-don't-have-a-choice-time issue in which I get bombarded with "check this test," and "you should have finished that already," to "remember I have an appointment today," to "you don't have to do promo." Ugh!
Despite the seemingly negative odds that face me sometimes, I find comfort and solace in that I'm doing something I want. For me. And the fact that I can share this with others is a huge bonus and keeps me doing what I'm doing. The family, I love them all. Yes, they don't truly "get" the whole writing thing, but that's okay. They don't have to. Would it be easier for me if they did? Absolutely! But I'll take what I can get. And if it's a few hours here and there to lose myself in my story, I'll grab it with both hands and hold on tight!
Thanks for hopping by and don't forget to swing by these other blogs to discover their survival points.
It's great to follow your passion.ReplyDelete
It truly is. I feel for those who choose to abandon what they love. Here's to writing!Delete
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We have to be true to who we are...or in the end we have nothing. Write on!ReplyDelete
You said it. Writers unite! lolDelete
Great post. My hubby's never read my work, either. So long as the paying public does, who cares, right?!ReplyDelete
Hahaha...and here I thought I was the only one whose husband didn't read their writing. Good to know it's not just me!Delete
I have my husband read my manuscripts and keep track of where he falls asleep, LOL. He doesn't "get" romance, so it's not always a good indicator that the pacing is off, but at least it makes me take a closer look at those spots in revisions.ReplyDelete
How sweet a system, Alina. Keeping track of where he falls asleep. lol. I love that! But if it works, keep at it! :)Delete
I can so identify with parts of your post. Old hat--yeah, that's my family. That or "are you still writing?" LIke they haven't seen my books online. Oh, well. And promo? Hubs, who was in business (now retired) asks me to think about all the time I put into promotion and what the return is. Huh? In terms of time & money, am I getting a return? Now I think about that more, and when I spend time & money on a promotion, I do track my sales. So even though I took offense at first, I realize he's trying to protect my writing time and making me promote smarter.ReplyDelete
You make a good point, Diane, that I've never thought about. My husband (self employed himself) is very good at looking at marketing trends and what will work to make money. Maybe, in his way, he's trying to tell me to look into other promo avenues. I'll have to have a serious financial/promo one-on-one with him. We'll see how it goes! Thanks for your insightful comments!Delete