Unless I know to expect it beforehand, it burns me up to read a story where the sex is behind closed doors. I feel cheated. Is it because I'm some kind of voyeur? Perhaps. *chuckle* But really, I want to know how the interactions play in the bedroom. How being physical defines and grows the relationship. Is she controlling in the kitchen but a submissive between the sheets? Does he seem commandeering but lays placid while she has her way with him? Do they laugh when they make love or is it high intensity? Does he make her come or is she always left to hurry up and find that peak on her own? Plus, lets face it, even if a person thinks they haven't the first hang-up about their life, there is always a hang-up of some kind when it comes to sex with someone else.
Maybe she doesn't want the lights on but wants to be tied up. Maybe he doesn't really like giving oral sex (very important to know because I'm sorry, I know of no woman who wants to be with a man unless he can enjoy going down on her). Maybe s/he secretly wants a third (or fourth or fifth...) partner and has to internalize this in bed. Maybe one of them has a scar they don't want seen. The point of all this is when two or more people are bare-ass naked and about to go beyond skin deep, little details fill out and define a relationship. These little details make or break relationships. Period.
Now, let me make it a little more clear that I've not expressly defined the erotic part yet. Generally speaking, there are plenty of books out there with love scenes. Most even go a bit detailed. However, nearly all main-stream books cater to one man-one woman, with varying simple positions. What's more commonly known as vanilla sex. Don't get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I love it. Sometimes.
Then, there are those times, let's admit it, when you want to feed that deeper, darker part of yourself. That, in my view, is where the erotic part comes into play. Let's pretend a minute. Instead of wishing your partner(s) would say they wanted to "make love" to you, imagine them saying, "I want to fuck you." This can be crude, yes, depending on how it's said and the persons involved. Most of the time, in erotic romance, it's meant with an intensity that goes bone deep. It's met with a level of excitement never before known. It's raw, it's heat, it's instantaneous panty-wet, cock-hard where your breath hitches as you grab the bed sheets and either stutter your surrender or shout out "hell yeah!"
As a reader, as a writer, you are sucked so deep into the story at this point your house could cave in and you'd never know. Why? Most individuals know about "making love," or "having sex." Yeah, it's cool in the story, but aside from the emotions, it's almost a kind of been-there, done-that way of reading. Does it make the love scene any less enticing? Of course not if it fits the story and the characters.
But again, there are those times ... yeah. There are those times when you want, you need, you're curious about just a little more. Crude language, multiple partners, anal play, same-sex, a bit of BDSM, you name it. Whether you've done it or wish upon the stars to do it, erotic romance can placate that side you never knew you had.