What to do when being in control is not such a good thing

Recently I spoke with someone who bared her frustrations of being the top dog, so to speak, in her family. She is a control freak (something I can totally relate to), but she is fair and lets everyone in her family know what is going on - just in case anything happens to her, the family will continue to function. She encourages, wants and appreciates help. She doesn't mind delegating. Her life and her family run as smooth as clockwork. 

Then one day, she fell ill. Not serious on-death's-door ill, but something like a bad-case-of-the-flu ill. She was too out of it to notice while in bed, but once she felt better, she was astounded at how much her tightly run ship had fallen into disrepair. Oh there was the usual to expect: clothes that needed washing and lagging a little in the dish washing department. But it was the other things, the plans and schedules that were, to her mind, ignored. Church had been missed. The grocery shopping hadn't been done. The kids' athletic meets had been passed over. The mail that had to be put out was still on the counter. The conception of "bed time" had flown out the window. The steadfast rule of video games only during certain times had also been tossed. Apparently the family had survived on take-out and junk food for three days. And God help the animals - had they even been fed? It made her simply want to turn around and crawl back into bed.

One way to look at this is with an "awww" factor, of , "what would they do without you?" To her mind, however, she told me she was pissed as hell. This episode of her being knocked off her feet for a short period of time really worried her. She told me that everyone in the house knows there are things to be done and places to go. There are posts on the calendars and each individual knows the when and where and what time for his or her event or appointment. What made her upset was that it seemed to her if she wasn't the one reminding and driving everyone to and fro, it simply wouldn't get done at all. It wasn't because no one was capable of picking up the reigns, it was because nobody did.

You know what sage advice I told her? I told her to read. Not just any old book, but to pick out a romance book.  A book where there is a heroine and (at least one) a hero. Where the people in the book have to overcome issues to trust, depend on one another, and to love each other.

Will it solve her problems? No. That's something I suppose she needs to work out with her husband and kids. Will it make her feel better? Definitely. It will carry her away for a few short hours to that fantasy world where there actually is someone out there you can lean on from time to time (I know...wow!). That there are great alpha men who may screw up the bed-times a little, but he'll do his best to at least get healthy take-out for the family (or even better, he'll really know how to cook). Where the kids may end up going in jeans and sneakers, but he'll make sure they get to church. Where the grocery shopping may be missing several items, but everyone makes their appointments and soccer meets. Where some kind of harmony can reign, even if it's not perfect. Where at least someone other than the heroine, is trying. 

Then, when the book is closed and a happy smile lifts that frown, she can turn to her own shackled life and know that even though her life may not be all that, at least someones is. Even if it is only in a fantasy.

 Hope your Monday is Fantasy-fantastic!

Happy Easter!

May your day be filled with love and laughter!

Happy Easter Everyone!

How can it be done?

Ages ago, before the zip of instantaneous technology and web sites, emails and groups and loops, I would closet myself off and write and write and write. Mostly teen-age angst and poetry that I thought was all that. I dreamed of "being a writer," and my future published status. And I had the classic heroes of old to give me motivation. Those writers who did not push for notoriety, but let their writing speak for itself. They didn't have Yahoo Groups to catch up on, web sites to design or blogs to post their every thought and frustration. There was no twitter or facebook. Hell, there weren't even any telephones! Man, can you imagine having that kind of indulgence. No extraneous distractions to pull you away from or interfere with your writing and thought process. Jealous, am I? Yep. 

Some writers enjoy the constant zip and zoom around the internet. It's addicting, I know. I enjoy it myself, I won't deny this. Still, how often do we, as writers, find ourselves wandering off our focused track of writing to read and respond to emails, update our sites and check on our groups? Way too often, I'm sure. I too often find my own self sidetracked in such a way. My personal pet peeve is searching for pictures. One, two, three hours later, and oftentimes I'm still looking for just that right image. *Sigh* Imagine all that time I could have been working on my dialogue.

I've heard of some writers who have a separate, unattached-to-the-internet computer they write on to prevent such diversions. I've heard of some who schedule their internet time like you'd monitor a child's TV watching time. Then, there are those who are blessed with the inner discipline to completely avoid any way-laying. How do they do it? I wanna know!

And I sit here and laugh at myself, because I'm proving myself as one of those to-be-distracted. 

At any rate, hope your day is going well, and back off to writing am I!

Released

Happy day for me! My book, The Deciding Factor, is available now through All Romance Ebooks! 

This debut story of mine received a whopping 4.5 blue ribbon review from Romance Junkies. Woo-hoo!

Read on for a taste...

Alycia ‘Aly’ Delaney is determined to add some excitement to her ho-hum life.  On the brink of turning thirty she’s made a pact to try as many new experiences as she can over the summer.  Rather than teach a summer school class she’s accepted an offer to teach a class at CEAL (The Center of Erotic Arts and Learning) and as a special bonus her old lover Sawyer Test owns the school and he’s quite eager to renew their relationship.  Aly’s quite happy to pick up right where they left off but when her high school sweetheart, Luke Coldwell, steps into the picture things become far more complicated than she anticipates.

 

Sawyer and Luke have been friends since their senior year of college and share much of the same taste in women and sexual pleasures.  While both men have fond memories of the time they spent with Aly neither of them ever mentioned her by name so you can imagine their surprise at learning that they’ve both set their sights on winning Aly for themselves.  They even come to blows over their disagreement but when Aly refuses to choose one over the other and actually tells them that she can’t see either of them because she refuses to ruin their friendship they’re more than a little surprised.  Aly jokingly mentions that she could just sleep with both of them and that gets them thinking… now that, they can work with. 

 

It’s a summer of new experiences and Aly’s loving every moment she spends with Sawyer and Luke – both together and separately.  The men are attentive to her needs and take great pains to not step on each other’s toes (or any other body parts) in their courtship with Aly.  However, jealousy and uncertainty are unavoidable; it’s how they handle their feelings that will determine if the threesome will stay together throughout the summer – and if there’s any hope for a ‘happily-ever-after.’

 

"Ayla Ruse dives right into the nitty-gritty emotional turmoil of becoming involved in a ménage-a-trois relationship with THE DECIDING FACTOR.  Aly, Sawyer and Luke are each confident, intelligent individuals but they’re full of uncertainty when it comes to where their relationship is heading.  Where going with the flow and just having a good time would seem like the norm, raw emotions are involved and each sex scene is tempered with genuine caring and a hope that nothing changes – or at least if it does then they’re in your favor.  I loved the friendly tone of this story.  Of course the sex is smoldering but there’s a definite feeling of friendship that allows the characters to enjoy all the nuances of their relationship - even when they aren’t entirely comfortable with a situation.  THE DECIDING FACTOR is a fun, thought provoking story that brings to mind the question ‘what would you do?’  Beautifully done Ms. Ruse."

With hair...or without...

There is something amazing and sexy about a man with a full head of hair. Endless fantasies erupt in your head. You can't help it. It's Pavlovian. There are the innocent attempts to tuck away that singular lock that constantly falls out of place. Or you may imagine the more intimate touch of how it tickles you in between your fingers when you thread your hands through his hair to hold on tight as he kisses you senseless. Perhaps you even dream of the added pleasure to your over sensitized nerve endings as his hair whispers across the bare skin of your nipples, your stomach, your thighs. *sigh*   

(See Image HERE)





On the flip side of the coin, of course, is the man who bares it all. True, not all men can pull this off, but for those who can, Whoa! Damn, it's sexy as hell. So you have nothing to run your fingers through. Nothing to grab onto when you need to hold on tight. *shrug* There's always the headboard (if you're lucky enough to be pointed in that direction ;)   At the point where you have this man, you don't care. Hair is the last thing on your mind. Most men who, in my humble opinion, make the bald look hot, have rock hard bodies that are more than willing to rock your world. They are muscle, they are focus, they are to the core ready to show you who's the boss.

(See Image HERE)

FREE BOOKS!

You cannot pass up the chance to get free books--who could?!

The wonderful people at All Romance Ebooks are celebrating upcoming Earth Day by giving away a book a day through April 21. Check out their site here and watch the top banner for the book a day giveaway in their Series Celebration.

Each book you choose to download is the first in a series. This is truly a can't miss opportunity.

Have a great day!