Monday, April 25, 2011

What to do when being in control is not such a good thing

Recently I spoke with someone who bared her frustrations of being the top dog, so to speak, in her family. She is a control freak (something I can totally relate to), but she is fair and lets everyone in her family know what is going on - just in case anything happens to her, the family will continue to function. She encourages, wants and appreciates help. She doesn't mind delegating. Her life and her family run as smooth as clockwork. 

Then one day, she fell ill. Not serious on-death's-door ill, but something like a bad-case-of-the-flu ill. She was too out of it to notice while in bed, but once she felt better, she was astounded at how much her tightly run ship had fallen into disrepair. Oh there was the usual to expect: clothes that needed washing and lagging a little in the dish washing department. But it was the other things, the plans and schedules that were, to her mind, ignored. Church had been missed. The grocery shopping hadn't been done. The kids' athletic meets had been passed over. The mail that had to be put out was still on the counter. The conception of "bed time" had flown out the window. The steadfast rule of video games only during certain times had also been tossed. Apparently the family had survived on take-out and junk food for three days. And God help the animals - had they even been fed? It made her simply want to turn around and crawl back into bed.

One way to look at this is with an "awww" factor, of , "what would they do without you?" To her mind, however, she told me she was pissed as hell. This episode of her being knocked off her feet for a short period of time really worried her. She told me that everyone in the house knows there are things to be done and places to go. There are posts on the calendars and each individual knows the when and where and what time for his or her event or appointment. What made her upset was that it seemed to her if she wasn't the one reminding and driving everyone to and fro, it simply wouldn't get done at all. It wasn't because no one was capable of picking up the reigns, it was because nobody did.

You know what sage advice I told her? I told her to read. Not just any old book, but to pick out a romance book.  A book where there is a heroine and (at least one) a hero. Where the people in the book have to overcome issues to trust, depend on one another, and to love each other.

Will it solve her problems? No. That's something I suppose she needs to work out with her husband and kids. Will it make her feel better? Definitely. It will carry her away for a few short hours to that fantasy world where there actually is someone out there you can lean on from time to time (I!). That there are great alpha men who may screw up the bed-times a little, but he'll do his best to at least get healthy take-out for the family (or even better, he'll really know how to cook). Where the kids may end up going in jeans and sneakers, but he'll make sure they get to church. Where the grocery shopping may be missing several items, but everyone makes their appointments and soccer meets. Where some kind of harmony can reign, even if it's not perfect. Where at least someone other than the heroine, is trying. 

Then, when the book is closed and a happy smile lifts that frown, she can turn to her own shackled life and know that even though her life may not be all that, at least someones is. Even if it is only in a fantasy.

 Hope your Monday is Fantasy-fantastic!

1 comment:

  1. Hey, are you talking about me? hahaha Probably not, because my house is rarely organized whether I'm sick or not. But I'm all about the romance. Nice to see you blogging again!!

    Missed ya.