What?? Take a break??

This is always running through my head. ALWAYS. Between running errands, keeping house, taking care of six peoples, animals, events, finances, entertainments, pencils, paper, ink, and yeah, you know the story. It goes on and on and on...

I, like you I'm sure, push myself to my limits and beyond. There comes a time when all my pushing backfires.

Take yesterday, for example. I knew a crash was eminent when, while reading Harry Potter to my youngest, I had a "blackout." Here I am, reading out loud, and two pages later I don't remember a single word I'd read. Not one word! I glance at youngest and he's still listening aptly, so I take it that I didn't digress into some kind of other-world. But still--reading freakin' aloud and not knowing what I'm reading? For shame!

After tucking everyone in bed last night I sat down at my trusty computer to knock out a couple thousand words on my NaNo story. I *must* do this, I tell myself. It doesn't matter that my eyes are bleary and my mind is wandering. I must!

I sit in front of the screen. I check a few social media outlets. Update a few. I stare at my story again. I know what I want to write, but my fingers won't seem to work and my mind skitters off topic like when your tires hit a huge rain puddle and your car skids off to the side. Yeah, I mean it to sound that drastic because that's how I felt.

So I decide a short nap is in order. Yes, it's somewhere between 10 and 11 pm. I think. A fifteen minute nap will work wonders. THEN I'll be able to write. 

Well, I'm sure you know what happened next. I crashed. Hard. My mind and my body worked together to lamblast me into sweet oblivion until I blinked my eyes away to the dawn of this morning. 

At first, curses filled my head. I didn't get my 2K in last night. What to do? I couldn't start writing right away, nor could I write--nor do I write--during my hectic, busy day. It's taken me most of the day to come to terms with this and tell myself that, you know, it's truly okay. My body obviously knew what was best for me better than I did. I may say sleep is overrated, but there's no denying it's pretty damned important. 

So I've had another hectic day, but I feel better. I've realigned my thoughts and know exactly where I plan to begin tonight with my words. Am I doubling up? Probably not. I'll squeeze in extra words along the way, I'm sure. It's still early on in the month. 

So if you're behind or haven't started or just know there's no time!! Don't stress. It won't always be like that. Some days will be better and some not so great. Roll with the punches, as that famous saying goes. Roll with it. Then sleep. SLEEP, darn you! And try, try again! 

^.^
Ayla

The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome

Image credit: © zimous - Fotolia.com

Do you suffer from this? 

Isn't this what we've always been warned against? A kind of be-happy-for-what-you-do-have because even though the grass may look greener over there, it has it's own mountain of problems.

Yeah, we all know this. But it doesn't stop us from peering over the fence. It doesn't stop us from wondering if maybe the other lawn's problems aren't ones we could handle better than our own? 

We humans are a fine fickle mess.

Myself included. 

The lawn I envy from time to time is one of solitude. Where there is no hubby, no kiddos, no family or friends. Okay, maybe not quite that extreme, but a life completely and entirely my own. Any appointments made would be solely for me. Any decisions would basically affect only me. Anything going on in my life, all me. 

Damn I sound selfish.   ;-)

Perhaps because in truth, I'm anything but. And, I've had a bit of that solitude in my past and let me tell you, it sucked. I peered at family and couples and bemoaned the fact I didn't have any of that. 

My how times change. Now, despite my moments of a desire for solitude, I'm happy where I am. I have my weeds and the grass isn't always cut ruler straight, but damn it, they're my weeds and my trimmings. 

So yes, there are times I'll walk past or even through that supposedly perfectly manicured lawn of solitude and enjoy every blessed moment. But I'll come back across the fence to my own yard, and even find myself appreciating the mess and chaos I have -- right where I am.