Monday, November 8, 2010

The Varying Shades of Menage

Periodically I have come across interesting articles regarding threesomes. How to participate, proper etiquette, and whom to involve are some of the most common themes. What I always find interesting, however, is the absolute minuscule "advice" on having a m/f/m threesome. Yes, as erotic romance authors, we read and/or write about this particular group with abundance. But according to the "real" world, this type of grouping seems nonexistent.

You want to involve two women and one man? Twenty-five (hundred) articles will tell you how. You want to convince your girlfriend/wife to do one? Twenty-three (hundred) more explains the ins and outs of this. Involvement of two men and a woman -- in any combination -- you'll end up seeing lists of erotic romance titles or porn sites. Doesn't seem quite fair, does it? Especially when you know relationships of the latter do exist.

Maybe, I wonder, we hear less of a two-guy, one girl relationship because...why, really? Are they more intimate? Do they tend to make the men involved (even if they men aren't "doing" each other) seem less manly? Or maybe it's simply because in this type of relationship/encounter, discretion is an unspoken agreement. Maybe because women, in general, can be more discreet than a man and usually, the woman in the group is the one in control. Think about it. Even in a D/s situation, where the woman is the sub, she can always say her safe word and back out. That's a lot of control. And control means not feeling the need to brag on every little thing that occurs in her life. She doesn't feel the need to stand at the proverbial water cooler and tout her sex life to everyone within hearing distance.

Or is there a sadder side of the story? A woman involved in a f/f/m encounter may be labeled loose, but most of the time her encounter can be brushed aside as an experiment, whereas a woman involved in a m/m/f or m/f/m situation is a darker breed of woman as in one who'll walk on the darker side of life?

A conundrum of ideas.

Me? I am okay with any menage combination really. I will admit, though, as a woman, that a mix involving two men way ups the scale of sexiness. What can make this combo even more sexy, again, in my opinion, is how the relationship even begins. Is it better to already be involved in a two-person relationship then add a third? Or is it better for everyone involved to begin at the same place? I'll share my thoughts on this in a latter post.

For now, what do you thing about the many variations of the entanglement of three people? Do you have a preference, and why? I'd love you hear your thoughts...

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